Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
