I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
