the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
please don't ironically join a cult
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