is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
