There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize