Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
