so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
