grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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