I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
