im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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