maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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