yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
