Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize