the day after is always just damage control
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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