fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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