I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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