Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
