:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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