plz talk dirty to me
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
