She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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