Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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