in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
