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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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