so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
