Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
