you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Randomize
