My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
