I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
