so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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