I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
