I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
