I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
