so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm like, not good at living.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
