Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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