I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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