wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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