Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
