I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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