I just made out with a guy for $7.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Randomize
