You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
