Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
