i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize