Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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