Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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