Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
