If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
