It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
