I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize