Kiss
Puke
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
