I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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