I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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