You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
