Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
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