i wish there were pregnant emoticons
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
