i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
