Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
