i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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