Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
