no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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