Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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