I got chris browned last night
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
ttyl tear gas
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
